I want to be....

I want to Stand at center of Eden
And watched by Lakhs
But I want to be on the other end and watch the GOD
While a masterful century he cracks

I want to be fastest in the car
But I don’t want to go over 20
When I see the sun setting
Behind the mountains in the far..

I want to be a jawan
Who protects the nation
But I don’t want to be one of the crowds
Who easily forgets the bravery a soldier showed..

I want to fly
And own the sky..
But firmly on the ground is where
I want my feet to stay

I want to be among the richest on the earth
But some times I want to be that poor man
Lying Drunk on the road
Without a care in the world



When I flew..

Remembering..

This week end, the country will celebrate Gandhigiri on the occassion of Bapu's Birthday. But few knew and even less remembered Shaheed Bhagat Singh - another short lived but one of the most important pioneer of the freedom movement, on his birthday which falls exactly a week before Gandhi's. Some sources say its 24th of Sept while others 26th September and a few more tell us it was today.. but even then , there was hardly anything in news. What is the exact date of birth is not important. The point is to remember the young energetic, very well read, passionate, and a completely dedicated Soul.

He was a person who was crystal clear in his ideas and thoughts.. who could communicate them so effectively both in speech and writing.. who had the foresightedness which today's CEO's would be envious of... who had the love of country in his heart rather than the love of power.

He was the one who possessed the courage to hit back on being slapped wrongly, instead of showing his other cheek.

He had the courage to getting hit by iron rods while tied in shackles in unknown dungeons rather than facing lathis collectively in a crowd..

He had the young, hot blood India needed rather than the corrupt, power lusty blood India got.

He was the action oriented leader India needed rather than the ones who kept fast and sat and hoped that everything will be controlled...(if u counter saying keeping fast is brave and needs courage... he kind of broke records by fasting more than 100 days to fight for his rights in a jail)

He was the one who tried to open the minds of farmers, mill workers and the country instead of telling them to follow some one blindly..

He was the one who had the courage to stand up and tell that the other person was wrong rather than just smiling at him and forgiving for the wrong doing again and again and again..

He was the one who died respectfully, with his head held high and a smile on his face, singing songs of praise for his mother land rather than being killed by a fellow citizen of the country..

I often wonder - what if he would have lived... to see the rise of a nation and take part in it actively..

Some articles/Letters written by Bhagat Singh. These show how clear and definite his thoughts were.

Clarification:
Wikipedia says Bhagat Singh was born on 27th September.
But in some places in Punjab, his birthday was celebrated on 24th (which came as a 2 paragraph report on 5th page of a newspaper)

Blog about a Blog

Took the tag from Fleiger

Are you happy/satisfied with your blog with it's content and look?
Looks – Yes.. I like a simple, clean look..
Content – More or less yes.. would like to know from others on areas where I can improve.

Does your family know about your blog?
Yes

Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?
Oh!!! I put a mail to all my friends, inviting comments and their thoughts, whenever I publish a new post.

Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?
Some times Yes!!
e.g blogs like The year that Was and Inquilab Zindabad

Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?
People who visit me are the most visited. I like to explore, if I have time on my side.

What does visitors counter mean to you? Do you care about putting it in your blog?
I DO!!! Would love to have the world converging here and share their ideas/thoughts

Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?
Most of the fellow bloggers are my friends so no need for imagination. I try to in case of others…
As regards my image – the image link is same as the orkut one.. so I am there on my blog!!

Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?
Oh yes ofcourse!! Some instances of blogging helping people was witnessed during post-mumbai blasts craziness… also recently read on Mridula’s blog – how blogs can be really useful… apart from this they also tend to propagate a thought, an idea… which if on a large scale has power to bring revolutions…

Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?
The society is very much a part of the society and everyday events are the biggest influence on what people write.

Does criticism annoying you or do you feel it's a normal thing?
Its not a normal thing – it is a very good thing as it helps you know ur weakness and improve on it..

Do you fear of some political blogs and avoid them?
It’s the opposite. I tend to read other’s political views.. As it is always better to know all aspects before forming an opinion yourself. Though it does not happens always.. but that’s what I try..

Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?
I have not heard anyone getting arrested… but if they are. I assume they must be misusing the power called Blogs

Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?
I really liked the idea of a epitaph blog suggested by Fleiger. May be I will also do the same..sorry Fleiger.. violating the copyrights here!!!


What do you like to hear? What's the song you like to put its link in your blog?
Depends on Mood really.. Usually blogging is done at night when u tend to hear slow, soulful songs…but it can be anything.. from Nirvana to Hariharan to Jagjit singh to Ghulam Ali to Gurdass mann to Shaan.


Five bloggers to be the next "victims"?
Anyone and Everyone!!!
(Cuckoo has taken an anticipatory bail.. So this accused is excused)

Shots from Heaven

These are some of the shots I took at 30,000 feet above sea level..



A window opens and invites.




To Beautiful Spectacles and Sights



Clear Blue Skies


And Clouds spread out like Carpet


Makes me wonder

Is this heaven I am looking At

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Hi all… Today is my 1st birthday…thank you.. thank you.. for all your wishes on this milestone…
Ohh.. forgot to tell you.. with the space I am eating up with these words that you are reading, my weight will be 50 blogs…u guessed it correct - In my world, weight is measured in units different from all you humans…
On this happy occasion I will let you know of my life in the past 1 year… This guy Sid.. gave me birth on Sept 16, 2005. (technology has really excelled… guys can also give births now)..Sid told me that after he first saw my clone, which were his friend khushal and Bharath’s babies and thrn got ideas to conceive me….Like you humans have 2 eyes and ears..i also have 2 parts – one of us is remains concerned to sidz life. The second part he watches a lot of TV, specially news, reads newspapers etc. u know the ‘I need to have a view point on everything’ kinds…
I put my first blogss (ok. Kgs in ur language) with some words about a trip sid had gone with bharath…. Then followed some imaginable stories.. his tryst with bungee jumping… talk about his college days. (he is really obsessed with his college days and friends.!!! ). He also bored me with his philosophy.. and I traveled with him to his home.. it was a long 40 hour trip and I gained a lot of weight during that journey… also learnt some poetry (didn’t understand much though).. and enjoyed a lot when I was painted green, yellow and red during last holi…sid made me privy to some of his insanity..and also incidents at office.. I was witness to some mesmerizing spectacles at places like Chamundi Hills near mysore and Sukhna Lake at Chandigarh …Though the best one, according to sid and some of his friends was about the famous and inspiring words Inquilab Zindabad

My second part, as I already told, watches a lot of TV and is quite different from the 1st.. It is more concerned about cricket, quotas, movies , politicians and things like that…
Many of Sidz friends visit me often… specially when I eat and gain weight… Amrut, KT and Rompy have been visiting right from my birth.. They say lovely things about me and give me gifts. In my world they are called Comments… … recently birds like eagles and cuckoos have also been visiting me…one tied 2 lovely tags around me…they tickled me and I laughed a lot …there are many others who meet me but they don’t give me gifts .. while some don’t tell their names while giving gifts…
This has been pretty much my life till now.. Life which I am living in a small corner of a big big world called internet. But I like my space – decorated in plain blues, whites and shades of grey... I first thought of asking sid to give me a new dress on my birthday but then I changed my mind as I love the way I am presently..
Ohh.. I have eaten up quite a bit of space.. this is one thing I am concerned about.. Sid, when he nurtures me, tends to stuff me with lot of words.. I am going to ask him to let my weight increase but also at the same time keep me fit and in shape…
Hope I have a fitter, healthier and better second year with new experiences and thoughts to share.. Hope to have your company along…
Biii and take care…

Before I lay Waiting

A prequel to my previous post I lay waiting..

Thru the Ear
Came the fear
I think I knew
When the moments grew

I stood there
Like a broken tree
Then I smiled
Ironic and Free

Then I raced..
To achieve a feat.
It was Time
I was trying to beat

I saw light
And moved in its way
But a divine Force called
“The show must.....”, it started to say.

I forced it
To stay Mum
And then I lay waiting
For it to come…..

Materialism and Spirituality

As a reply to my blog Interpretations – I received a response from Chetan which said, “In the competitive world, the mantra is one has to be ambitious and keep on earning money, amassing property, wealth and achieving newer goals of life. But the spirituality tells achieving "Ananda" (ultimate happiness) is the real goal.”
These comments lead to some exchange between us about materialism and spiritualism. Thoughts about this had come to my mind earlier also so I just decided to write a blog about it. I asked my friends about what they think about it.

Chetan was of the view that world is changing to a materialistic world and humanity losing its basic goal. Disproving this trend, he hoped that one day this will end and this materialistic world will give way to a more spiritual world.
In his words, “i hope again humanity will take birth again in a different avatar containing different living beings.”

Quite opposite to this view, Parul says “life is about the journey itself and not the goal” ..hence if these materialistic things give us happiness on this journey then why not enjoy them. But, she cautions, “Any thing in extreme is bad”.

KT, in his usual illustrative and bulleted comment comes down to some practicalities. He argues that spiritualism is tied with materialism. Taking the examples of modern so called ‘gurus’ – he says that they talk spirituality but their sermons are held in costly cities, preachers live in 5 star hotels an then they preach that we should not be materialistic.
He further argues out that (quoting him) “spiritualism doesn’t have enough confidence” – in the sense that the concept is not able to hold itself and is trying various ways to make itself popular. Citing a analogy he says : “Its more like allowing bowlers to bend their arms since so many chuckers have entered cricket and taken limelight.”
Elucidating his view point he says “I think materialism and spiritualism together form a virtuous cycle” and if materialism dies, there would be no significance of spiritualism.
His take on spiritualism is something that pleases you and doesn’t harm others. And it doesn’t necessarily mean singing paeans of God or fasting etc. There is no need for someone to claim to be an authority of a particular spiritualism thought. Because there in lies the vulnerability of such thought temples. Further that without materialistic help, nothing - no movement or class of thought can spread wide and far.
KT also gave numerous examples strengthening his points.
So, in what I understand, KT dismisses the concept of spirituality as not strong and confident enough to stand by itself.



Rompy took pains to illustrate his point of view through a image
Taking a middle path, Rompy says “In today’s scenario, I think one should strive to make the two go ‘hand in hand’. When I say, ‘hand in hand’, I mean there is a harmony between the two consciences within the human mind. Though these two urge the mind to come to there camp, buts it’s up to the mind to maintain a trade off between the two.”
Summarizing it I can say that according to him, both exist inside our mind. And the mind decides where to go.
Mind you he explained this with a drawing – after all a picture speaks more than a thousand words.

Liza takes another approach in arguing the case for harmony between Materialism and Spiritualism. She says that it is the desire to excel, in other words materialism which is driving the world today to unthinkable boundaries. But in this mad race, we tend to ignore what our heart says. She questions, “No doubt we have to realize our self being but can it be done without the worldly happiness being there?”
She goes on to explain the role of spiritualism in this “I think we all have the right to dream and while realizing those dreams we should take some spiritual help so that we don’t deviate from the right path”. She finally says there is nothing wrong enjoy worldly pleasures if a right thing is done in the right way.

Amrut further diversifies the discussion. He says that music helps him connect with himself (spirituality) and the materialistic things like good CD player, state of art speakers etc help him in this. He says, “Spiritualism is more a state of mind where as materialism is more plausible or concrete…
If one can find a balance in these two, even though it might seem a bit hypocrite, nevertheless the way the society functions.”
Giving an insight into the definitions of these terms he says that advancement in technology, leads people to have an urge to get them. That is materialism. But to the person who makes these developments, it is a spiritual feeling to make them. (As in the case of Howard Roark of Fountainhead). “….for some the so called materialism is in itself a spiritual existence and for some it is treated as sin in the heart. For me most of the times it is spiritualism!!!!”


Well… pretty interesting and different ideas there… And special thanks to all my friends who contributed to this… this blog belongs to you…
Now, what do I think about Materialism and Spiritualism… had you just asked me I could have replied easily… but now with so many ideas in front of me.. I am a bit confused..
According to me.. Spiritualism is Peace of Mind…this peace of mind can come through materialism as many of my friends have said. May be buying the latest mobile or the latest 30 Gb Ipod will give me peace of mind… but will it really?? For how long will I be spirtitual – satisfied with myself… till the next high end model of the phone comes… or a new sleek car comes.. then there will be a fight to gain that spirituality again… So in a sense, spirituality or peace of mind as I say is totally dependent on materialism. Can it be independent??
For it to be independent, a human has to be satisfied with what he has.. yes he can.. but for that he has to go to live on the outskirts of society… he may become a ascetic… or something where he has minimal interaction with the people of a society.. and go live in some place as shown in the movie Paap. Then he will have no desires… and we can say he is spirtitual… but he ‘dhongis’ as also pointed out by KT – who give sermons in AC halls of 5 star hotels – I don’t consider them spiritual – At all.. spiritual Guru – bull shit…living in society – we will always strive for more.. and never be satisfied. Or in other words will not be peaceful from inside..
There may be short durations for which we are at peace..e.g while meditating.. or going all out while running… or dancing.. or sometimes while listening to music… and I do feel that in this non spiritual world.. some moments of spirituality are necessary…so that we don’t become Insane…

Interpretations..

“Har Taraf har Jagah – beshumar aadmi” – those are the opening lines of a fantastic ghazal by Jagjit Singh and Lata Mangeshkar in the album Sajda.
I first heard it courtesy Amit and then a month ago my cousin gifted the CD to me and ever since I have been hooked, specially to this ghazal.
Here I would try to express my interpretations of the beautiful words woven into the poetry.
The ghazal goes..

Har taraf har jagah Beshumaar aadmi
Phir bhi Tanhayion ka Shikar aadmi
Subah se shaam tak bojh dhota hua
Apni hi lash par khud mazaar aadmi
Har taraf bhaagte duadte raaste
Har taraf aadmi ka shikaaar aaadmi
Roz jeeta hua.. roz marta hua
Har naye din , naya intezaar aadmi
Zindagi ka muqadar safar dar saafar
Akhri saaans tak bekraaar aadmi



1. Har taraf har jagah Beshumaar aadmi
Phir bhi Tanhayion ka Shikar aadmi

There is so much to do in life today that we have become lonely. Lonely in the sense that despite so many people around, we are unable to meet our self. Unless a person meets his self, he is no better than no one around. A person’s self, his conscious is the best and ever lasting companion. But in today’s life, with this conscious being continuously absent, we are all lonely.
In everyday life, we don’t listen to our conscious – that what we are doing is right or wrong, we don’t care – And that we do by killing our self. Also as we kill this self, all our inner dreams and ambitions are killed along.
The lines capturing all this and much more in just simple 12 words make it out of the world.

2. Subah se shaam tak bojh dhota hua
Apni hi lash par khud mazaar aadmi

The first line is self explanatory. We get up in the morning, reach office, work all day, all the time thinking that the other person's(that other person may be a friend, boss, teammate - anyone)
is better than your own and with that feeling, you do your job and at end of the day go home a unsatisfied person just to get up the next morning to follow the same routine. Hence you are a dead person and day by day you are constructing a mazzar or a tombstone on top of you - all the while burying yourself deep inside.

3. Har taraf bhaagte duadte raaste
Har taraf aadmi ka shikaaar aaadmi

The life is a long unending marathon with pulls and pressures from all directions. These pulls and pressures are exerted just by other people. 'Aadmi ka shikar aadmi' is a poet's way of defining peer pressure. The largest most factor affecting the peace of mind in today's life.

4. Roz jeeta hua.. roz marta hua
Har naye din , naya intezaar aadmi

An extension of above lines. Every morning a person gets up to 'live' the day. And everyday he dies - either by killing his soul or by killing his Soch (thinking)
And then he waits - waits for a better life or other person's job or earning what his friend his earning. Is this possible after he has killed himself??

5. Zindagi ka muqadar safar dar saafar
Akhri saaans tak bekraaar aadmi

Didn't really understand the first line but the secnd line says 'Akhri saans tak bekrrar aadmi' . till the last breath a person is ambitious. This can be taken in a positive sense - that its good to be ambitious. After 1 achievment - move on to the next challenge.
On the contrary, considering overall feel of the ghazal, it can be said that a person is never satisfied. He always wants more. Never being satisfied is one of the traits of a human being.

POrtal...

Yesterday, I was contacted to make some changes in PLES Portal.
As I went and made changes and saw them reflected on the website, nostalgic memories rushed in to the mind.
I was with my baby again. And wasn’t it beautiful.
Though the portal was not started by me, but bringing it to the present shape – I can immodestly say was done by me.
My journey with it started when Shyam handed over an orange colored portal (now in white and blues) to me – having zero knowledge about what portals are, how they are made, how I will be setting up a server.
The next thing I remember is suddenly knowing everything and doing everything with considerable ease.
Of course this could not have been possible had Google would not have been there.
But everything was not sudden. It was slow and steady – contributions from everyone. Getting familiar with JSP’s (though I was somewhat familiar), then some Java.. then there were problems with Tomcat (I remember asking from Bharath, Babu and even Manoj about some error about an excel not opening through the server) and my complete ignorance about them even after considerable time spent (I didn’t know that a folder WEB-INF folder has to be present in the application directory until Neeraj told me). I can’t even remember how many times I bugged my cubicle mate Amrut for even trivial things. Amit was there. I can’t remember what error was there when Amit and Neeraj had spent a whole evening at the server helping me out.
Then there was Vishesh – whom I still owe some 50P or something to find bugs in the portal. Deal was 25 P per a minor UI bug and more for functionality. I guess there were 2 spelling mistakes.
Jalali used to come up frequently – I remember he tried hard when a table size was not being limited to a page width when the text increased beyond a limit. And there was a continuous flow of ideas from Amrut, Neeraj and Sandeep.
Portal also helped me increase my java interest.
There was the request Tracker. In my training days, I had never imagined that I would be able to write a java class from scratch. And for request tracker I coded a whole application (Though a small one) from scratch - Completely based on the MVC architecture.
When I see the front end and the functionality after many months today – it seems like ‘too good yaar’. And I feel proud that I have done the coding for this which is coming to use.
It was not very exciting at that time, but now when I look back, it gave me an opportunity to learn new things, different things, may be letting out my creativity to some extent and I guess increased my interest in Java language and web development part of it. I was helped by many people in the course. But all in all, I can say this Portal is my baby.

P.S: This piece may sound an immodest, boastful, self praising article. So be it. I am proud of the thing I have done !!!!